


Monsters

by saxyad18



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Episode 3.2, F/M, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2018-04-26 03:50:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4989145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saxyad18/pseuds/saxyad18
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After rescuing Jemma from the monolith, what happens between the brief scene on Zephyr One and Jemma waking up from her nightmare? A short fic to explore initial moments of healing between Jemma, Fitz, Bobbi, and Daisy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Monsters

Bobbi keeps an upbeat smile on her face even as she cringes on the inside. Now that they are back at the base, she can give Jemma a much more comprehensive examination, and she isn’t willing to leave anything to chance. As she pokes and prods as gently as she can, she keeps up a steady stream of meaningless chatter, hoping that something will prompt a reaction from the clearly traumatized young woman sitting before her.

For more than an hour, Jemma just stares at the wall right behind Bobbi’s left shoulder. Her eyes are unfocused, and her mouth is frozen into a frown. The complete apathy of her expression worries Bobbi to no end. None of them have any idea what Jemma has been through, but the injuries, obvious malnutrition, and overall wretched state of her clothing and body indicate that these past months have been full of suffering and hardship. The only time Jemma has shown any emotion is when she is with Fitz, and even that is incredibly subdued. It’s as if her body just can’t muster anything but the most basic reactions.

Having seen what happens to agents who continue to bottle up their memories and fears after traumatic experiences, Bobbi wishes she could coax Jemma into doing something, anything to break the fugue state she is now in. She knows she is exhausted and probably still in disbelief that she is no longer wherever she was, but the longer she tries to remain detached, the harder her recovery will be.

When she sees Daisy walk past the glass doors to the medical bay, Bobbi calls out, hoping Jemma will have more of a reaction to Daisy; they have been teammates longer than she and Bobbi have.

“Daisy,” Bobbi calls out cheerfully, prompting the younger agent to stop and look into the bay, but she doesn’t look at Bobbi. Instead, she finds herself pinned by Jemma’s soulless stare.

Confused, Bobbi turns to look at Jemma, but her lingering injuries make her movements less coordinated than she is used to being and she ends up knocking a tray of medical instruments to the ground. The violent cacophony of sound finally prompts a response from Jemma, but it’s nowhere near what Bobbi had hoped to evoke.

* * *

She’s been floating in a pleasantly blank headspace for hours now, too tired and emotionally drained to do more than make soft vocalizations in response to the questions her teammates ask her. Other than Fitz’s name, words feel foreign in her mouth, and she can’t be bothered to regain a sense of familiarity with them now. Despite her apparent disinterest in everything, she is at least marginally aware of what is going on around her.

Bobbi’s steady voice has soothed her into a hazy almost half-consciousness. She takes comfort in the sound, but her tranquility is ripped to pieces when an unexpected and seemingly deafening crash interrupts the gentle cadence. Such sounds only mean one thing: mortal danger.

Reacting immediately to the perceived threat, Jemma vaults from the table with surprising grace and ease given her condition. As soon as she lands in a deep crouch, she is no longer aware of reality. She has transitioned deep into memories and reacts accordingly. Her sharp mind immediately takes stock of the situation, assessing the threats blocking her path to safety.

* * *

Bobbi and Daisy know immediately that something is desperately wrong with their teammate. Her expression is no longer blank. Rather, it’s full of a frightening, almost feral intelligence. Crouched low to the ground and snarling, Jemma is nearly unrecognizable. There is a fierceness and power to her that neither expects. They also aren’t expecting the primal scream that hints at both terror and determination. Stunned by the ferocity of the sound, they barely have time to move before Jemma lunges at them, clearly prepared to fight.

Though trained extensively in hand-to-hand combat, both Bobbi and Daisy are hard pressed to keep up with the impressive and innovative barrage of kicks, punches, lunges, and feints that Jemma throws at them. Devoid of her usual stash of weapons, she curls her fingers into claws and slashes at her opponents. Her jagged nails leaving shallow cuts in their wake. As they attempt not to hurt her while trying to restrain her, Bobbi and Daisy continue to call her name, hoping the sound of their voices will reach the part of her brain buried under this animalistic reaction.

To Jemma, their voices sound like the cries of the monsters that stalked her mercilessly during her exile across the universe. She spares absolutely no quarter in defending herself and attempting to flee. She can see an opening just behind the creatures blocking her path and she is determined to get to it. Suddenly, she notices the shank she had managed to fashion a few weeks ago has fallen on the floor. Shoving hard against the creature closest to her, she lunges for the small but powerful weapon and feels a new sense of confidence come over her as her fingers close around its familiar shape.

Brandishing the shank with a level of familiarity both Bobbi and Daisy find completely unsettling, Jemma attacks with a new level of fury, but they manage to keep her contained to the room. Bobbi is inching ever closer to the syringe filled with a fast-acting sedative. She hates to put Jemma under so suddenly, but they can’t keep fighting her like this. They’re all sporting shallow wounds from the prolonged encounter, and Jemma can’t afford to be any more injured than she already is.

Sensing that she is losing the battle, Jemma’s cries grow more desperate and frantic. In turn, Bobbi and Daisy redouble their efforts to bring her back to reality. Nothing they do seems to work, and they are too afraid of causing Jemma more damage to resort to their more effective techniques. Finally, Jemma catches Bobbi just below her hairline with the shank, cutting a jagged line across her forehead. In her attempt to dodge the blow, Bobbi lunges, but her still recovering knee protests the movement, and she loses her grip on Jemma’s arm as pain shoots through her leg. Sensing this is her only chance, Jemma dives in front of Daisy and scrabbles back to her feet before tearing off down the corridor.

“Shit,” Bobbi grits out as she begins hobbling out the door with her now throbbing knee. “We’ve got to get to her before she runs across anyone else. Whatever she is reliving has to stop now.”

Without even acknowledging that the older agent has said something, Daisy takes off after Jemma, hoping that she can find her friend and convince her that she isn’t a threat before the worst happens.

* * *

Fitz had been reluctant to leave Jemma’s side, but he knew she was in good hands with Bobbi. After he passed his second physical, Coulson had whisked him away to his office to give him what ended up being a combination of a severe reprimand for his complete disregard for his safety and the safety of his team, a heartfelt apology for doubting the effectiveness of his efforts to find Jemma, and hearty congratulations for bringing their long lost teammate back in spite of all the odds stacked against him. All in all, Fitz found the meeting to be mostly confusing, but since it ended on a positive note, he counted himself lucky.

He and Coulson have just turned the corner toward the corridor leading to the medical wing, when Jemma comes barreling around the corner. Her bare feet have little traction on the floor and she ends up falling to her hands and knees for a moment before quickly scrambling back to her feet and racing away. From what little Fitz and Coulson can catch of her expression, it is abundantly clear that she is utterly terrified. They don’t have time to give the situation much thought before Daisy rounds the corner in pursuit.

Although he has to struggle to match her pace, Fitz falls in alongside Daisy. She’s barely winded as she relates what happens. Irritated that he hadn’t fought harder to stay at her side during these initial hours, Fitz uses the burst of anger to charge ahead of Daisy when they come to a fork in the path. As he barrels down the left path, she takes the right, hopeful that one of them will find Jemma sooner rather than later.

In the meantime, Coulson jogs down to the medical bay where he finds Bobbi treating her gash.

“Bobbi, what the hell happened?” Coulson immediately barks as soon as he sees her. The entire medical bay is in disarray. Implements are scattered about the floor, gurneys are haphazardly strewn about the room, and there are clear signs of a prolonged struggle. When Bobbi finally meets his gaze, he is shocked to see tears swimming in her eyes.

“I should have been more careful. I startled her and now she’s stuck in what must be some kind of flashback. She didn’t even recognize us, Coulson. It’s like she wasn’t even there, like her basic instincts took over and everything that made her Jemma was just gone. “

“Bobbi,” Coulson attempts to soothe the clearly distraught agent, but she cuts him off before he can get any farther.

“It’s my fault. I knocked the stupid tray over, and I can’t even fucking go after her because I wrenched by goddamned knee again.”

Only now does Coulson realize that Bobbi is balancing precariously on her good leg while trying to close her still bleeding head wound with liquid stiches. Knowing full well that he won’t be able to talk her out of feeling responsible for something that was clearly an accident, Coulson opts to gently guide her to sit on one of the gurneys and takes over treating the gash.

“Fitz and Skye, I mean Daisy, will find her and we’ll make sure she has everything she needs. We don’t know what she’s been through, but I am sure this isn’t the first flashback or setback we’ll have to deal with. The important thing is that we’re all there for her.”

Bobbi remains silent as he finishes tending to her. In the year she worked closely with them, Fitz and Jemma had become like the younger siblings Bobbi never knew she wanted or needed. She’d done everything she could to help Fitz find Jemma, even when everyone else had given up. Now, she wants to help Jemma find herself. She isn’t sure how she can make this up to Jemma, but she is willing to do anything in her power to help the younger woman find peace and feel comfortable in her own skin again.

* * *

Fitz is gasping in breaths desperately as he rounds corner after corner and flings open door after door. He’s nearly out of places to search when he finds her sobbing helplessly into her knees in a far-flung corner of one the least used storage rooms.

Mindful not to startle her, Fitz calls her name softly: “Jemma?”

Upon hearing her name in that familiar tone and accent, Jemma releases a broken little sob and buries her head further in her arms. She’s not sure when it happened, but at some point during her run, she had come back to herself and realized what she had done. She’d continued running at that point to protect her teammates from whatever it was she had become in her months of exile.

“Jem? I’m going to come closer, okay?” Fitz calls, waiting a moment to see if she responds. When she simply continues to cry brokenly, he slowly makes his way over to her, both to give her time to get used to his presence and to give himself time to calm his racing heart and ragged breathing. He almost has both under control when he comes to crouch just in front of her.

“Jemma. What happened?” He knows as much as Daisy has told him, but only Jemma can tell him what triggered her response. It’s important that he knows so that he can prevent it from happening again. After all she’s been through, they owe it to her to try to avoid triggering any flashbacks.

He settles down across from her to wait for her response. Struggling to subdue her crying, Jemma rubs her grimy sleeve over her face, spreading streaks of dirt and tears across her cheeks.

“B..Bob….Bobbi,” she manages through her now chattering teeth. She’s beginning to face the low after the rush of adrenaline, and her body is in no shape to handle the crash. “M..monster.”

Knowing what he does about the incident, Fitz tries to interpret her stuttered words: “Bobbi did something to startle you and you thought she was a monster?”

He phrases it as a question hoping that she’ll correct whichever parts he got wrong. She doesn’t disappoint, but his heart nearly breaks when she speaks again.

“N..no. I’m…I’m the monster,” she confesses miserably, and in this moment he sees just how many pieces she’s broken into as a result of the ordeal. He feels his already impressive resolve to help her intensify; no matter how long it takes, he will help her through this and convince her that she isn’t a monster and never could be.

Reaching out to run his fingers over the back of her hand in what he hopes is a soothing gesture, he asks “What do you need, Jemma. Tell me and I’ll make it happen. Whatever it is.”

Despite her lingering terror and now almost overwhelming anguish, she gives him her undivided attention whenever he speaks. She’s spent far too long unable to hear the sound of his voice not to cherish every moment she hears it now.

She knows that he is perfectly serious in his promise. In this moment, she could demand something as ludicrous as the moon, and he would find a way to give it to her. Luckily, what she needs is relatively simple to come by because it’s right in front of her. Springing forward unexpectedly, she wraps all of her limbs around his body and tucks her head into his shoulder. “You. I just need you,” she mumbles into his neck.

He clutches her closer as his eyes soften upon hearing her words: “All right then. I’m all yours.”

As soon as the words leave his mouth, they both know that he means everything those words imply, both as they pertain to this moment and to all the others past and future. She burrows closer to him as his sincerity and love washes over her like a soothing balm. Here in the shelter of his arms, she feels a little less broken and a little less frightened.

* * *

He sits almost motionless in the dark corner of the room with her for nearly an hour. It takes that long for her body to stop shaking and sobs to finally cease. He can tell from the heaviness of her limbs and the nearly limp quality of the rest of her body that she is about to pass out from exhaustion.

Whispering so as not to break the moment, he asks, “What do you think about a shower and some fresh clothes?”

She doesn’t respond verbally; she merely nods her head against his collarbone. She’s beyond words again, though she isn’t lost in the haze anymore. She’s simply too tired and overwrought to manage more than nonverbal communication.

He helps her stand on her wobbly legs and keeps his arms snugly around her waist as he leads them back to the medical bay. He can tell from the tension returning to her body that she is worried about being in this room again, but they both breathe out a sigh of relief when the room appears to be completely in order once more.

Still, what little relief Jemma finds in not having to confront the result of her actions on the room ends immediately when she spies Bobbi sitting on a bed in the far corner while Coulson and Daisy chat idly. Fitz had sent Daisy a message as soon as he’d found Jemma to let her know to stop her search. Apparently, she had simply come back here to wait for their eventual return. Seeing the fresh wounds on her teammates floods Jemma with guilt and angst, and she cannot meet their eyes.

Jemma stands mute as Fitz relates her needs for a shower and clean clothing. She wants to insist that she can do this part on her own, but she knows that she’ll have to accept help. As loathe as she is to be separated from Fitz, she isn’t ready for him to see her battered and broken body. Coulson clearly isn’t an option. Nor is Mack or Hunter, though she hasn’t seen him yet, which leads her to believe he might be off base somewhere. She realizes that May must not be here either since Jemma feels sure the older agent would have made her presence known by now if she were.

That only leaves her two options out of the people she knows well enough to put her body in their care: the two teammates she attacked like a crazed animal just over an hour ago. She can’t imagine either woman wants to be alone with her, and she nearly resigns herself to having to ask Fitz despite her fervent desire not to when Daisy speaks up.

“I’ll go grab some clothes for you. I know what you’ll like.” Without giving anyone in the room time to question her plan, Daisy calmly walks over to Jemma and rests a hand on her shoulder before speaking again.

“I’m really glad you’re back. I missed you a lot.”

The teary admission prompts Jemma to look up just as Daisy ignores her better judgment and catches her friend in a quick but fierce hug. She’d been devastated when Jemma had gone missing and inconsolable for days when it seemed that all hope of finding her again was lost. Jemma was one of the first people Daisy considered family, and she wasn’t sure she would ever come to terms with her loss. Now that she’s back, Daisy is more determined than ever to keep her safe.

Stunned by the unexpected embrace, Jemma doesn’t have time to think about her reaction. Muscle memory kicks in and she’s hugging back just as hard before she even realizes that she moved her arms. In that moment, some of her broken pieces feel like they might fit back together again.

With one final squeeze, Daisy heads out of the door, swiping a few tears from her face as she goes. A tense silence descends on the remaining four people in the room. Jemma still can’t bear to look at Bobbi, but Bobbi can’t take her eyes off her teammate and friend. She is still reeling as she tries to come to terms with what Jemma must have faced on the planet, and she is filled with guilt over having prompted her to return there, even if only in memory.

Sensing that neither woman is going to speak, Coulson steps in. “Bobbi? I trust you have this well in hand. Fitz, why don’t you go get some things to help Jemma settle in once she’s finished?” His tone, though not unkind in the least, brokers no argument.

He leaves the room, but Fitz remains, waiting to see what Jemma will do. It’s clear to him that she is uncomfortable, but he isn’t sure what her next action will be. Bobbi, thankfully, makes the first move.

Moving unsteadily on her feet now that she has returned to her more robust knee brace to re-stabilize the injury, she teeters over to where Fitz and Jemma stand, but she keeps several feet between herself and them, worried that she’ll startle Jemma again.

“Jemma,” she begins forlornly. Expecting to hear anger or even pity, Jemma is caught off guard by the misery in Bobbi’s tone. Looking up, she finally meets the older agent’s eyes, and her eyes begin to mist over when she catches sight of Bobbi’s unshed tears.

“I’m sorry,” they both apologize simultaneously. When Bobbi reaches out a tentative hand toward Jemma, that is all the impetus Jemma needs to find the courage to release Fitz’s hand and make her way over to the friend she was sure she’d lost. As soon as Jemma is within reach, Bobbi pulls her closer and releases a shuddering breath.

“I thought we’d lost you forever.” What Bobbi isn’t saying is that she’d felt that way even after they had pulled Jemma from the well filled with the debris from the monolith. Until this moment, she had seen no sign of the teammate she had missed terribly other than a few brief flashes. Even though she is clearly upset, exhausted, and in pain, Jemma’s eyes finally show the spark Bobbi had feared her exile had driven from her.

She’s relieved to discover that Jemma is still made of stronger stuff than she’d ever realized. Then again, Jemma, the agent who couldn’t lie her way out of a paper bag, had willingly volunteered for an undercover op in the heart of Hydra and had been impressively successful at maintaining her cover until Reina had blow it. Whatever had happened on that planet, Bobbi is sure now that Jemma will be able to move beyond it with time and support, and she’ll happily be a pillar for her for as long as she needs.

As with Daisy, Jemma finds a piece of herself in this embrace and begins to believe that she can someday reclaim what has been taken from her by force and circumstance. She will probably never be whom she used to be again, but in this moment she thinks she can learn to accept whoever she becomes now.

* * *

Later that evening as she crawls into the bed in one of the spare quarantine rooms, swathed in a conglomeration of clothes that belong to her, Daisy, and Bobbi, her body finally clean and hair pulled back into a low ponytail, with Fitz flitting about the room to add some familiar pictures and knickknacks here and there, she feels almost like a human being rather than the nearly mindless animal she had been for months.

Still, as she closes her eyes and attempts to settle into a mattress that feels like it will swallow her whole, she can’t help but survey the room for potential threats and escape routes and grip the shank she’d managed to hide from them tighter in her hand. She, perhaps better than any of them now, knows that the moments of calm before the storm should be feared most because they lull people into a false sense of security. Determined never to fall into that trap again, Jemma tucks her weapon-filled hand under her pillow, wary for whatever comes next. Let the monsters come, she thinks as she drifts into an uneasy sleep. She’ll be ready. She has too much to lose to be caught unprepared again.

* * *

 

  


**Author's Note:**

> I swear I am going to get back to finishing the other two stories I have in the works, but like many other people I absolutely loved last week's episode and wished there had been a few more scenes with Simmons. I can't wait to see what happens tomorrow night, but until then, this was my idea for what might happen between some of my favorite characters in the moments we didn't see in episode 3.2. 
> 
> I feel like Bobbi has become very protective of Fitz and Simmons. We see bits and pieces of her deeper relationship with Fitz in these first two episodes, and while she struck me as an unexpected ally at first, I think it was a really lovely choice to make her his partner in crime. It seems to me that she's reacting as if he were a younger brother. Given how she and Jemma met and the relationship that has developed between the two of them over the last season, I think that kind of sibling affection could be there as well, which is why I think Bobbi would be legitimately upset if her actions caused Jemma to experience a flashback. I also think she is struggling to cope with being tethered to the lab while she recovers. The fact that she can't run after Jemma to fix her mistake hurts her as much as making the mistake in the first place. 
> 
> While Daisy and Jemma had a really strained relationship for most of last season, I think Jemma's disappearance would have hit Daisy harder than most. Think about how much the two of them must have bonded that first season and how well they played off of each other in the first half of season 2. We see a little bit of it in these first two episodes, but I can imagine Daisy having had an epic breakdown sometime during the months Simmons was missing. 
> 
> As for Fitz, since I already wrote The Eleventh Hour, I didn't want to spend too much time focusing on their reunion, but I did want at least a little scene in here for the two of them because I think he is going to play a really important role in her recovery, even if she does initially push him away, which is what I am afraid will happen since we got Simmons back so quickly. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this. Thanks for reading!


End file.
